Looking for the right question

In the back seat of my heart We danced a timeless medody Speeding on the edge of forever But the tank went dry And the blood stopped running... The engine was killed, And the keys were sent flying Through an open window... My heart stopped once And twice is not to be. We went too far And what we had Was left that far When we got back To the normal we...

What I was then And what I  am now Are just reflections Of the same mirror Under different lights. I was never a shadow And never had one, But inspiration comes Regardless of masters As an answer to a need. So I trek  ahead blind And even not knowing My steps are sure And my soul guides Me in the right way. I am not sorry, And I care little For the dark spots, They made me smile Amidst the  tears.

In rooftops my eyes drop And fly jumping high From one step to another, In the all seing awareness Of freedom of the streets And sewers still below... If  I had wings I'd be higher Still than the clouds And even higher still I'd be in heaven... As I was once long ago In the reflection of your eyes.

I shall be a bridge Between the knowledge And the feeling Because I'm on the edge. I see both worlds And live in both, But belong  to none.

Even as I close my eyes to each day passing by, another awareness curls around my mind, wrapping itself within thought itself, in such a way that my inner workings don't work anymore as they used to, instead I see further into my own reasoning for doing every little thing I do, and in doing so, I get trapped in this loophole that is my inward spiraling towards the center of me, over and over again. Every time I break the surface as if to breathe, I shunt away the little of me I get in each of those glimpses from down deep where I must remain for longer and longer periods until, finally, I need not return. I have the sense that isn't anything here calling out to be, but instead something in there keeping me out. My return to that birth place is as real as anything real can be, and equally unmovable. I must be something first before I gain complete access to my own keys. My way is the long way around.

Travelling from me to you A thought goes around and around Crossing the deep blue Of the sea and sky making no sound… Then touching your forehead gently, Slowly caressing the skin of your face, Lingering in your lips so lightly… And then holding you in an embrace… The thought finally comes to a door, Closed as he knew, but he comes with a key To unlock this door and so much more. He puts the key in, and presses with ability… Turning it around, sliding easily, It unlocks with a soft almost silent groan, Further on, and in, he goes free… Deeper still until it is blown… Spreading inside you warm and clear, Finding home, holding tight… Giving birth to a life so dear That makes all the night alight…

When I was young I had dreams I didn’t understand, Now that the insight to understand them exists in me, Reality is the kiss given endlessly by lips of sand Between the foamy saliva of the reaching sea… Every shore is in the right place, as long as you are with me, Holding hands, running, embracing, rolling in the sand, kissing Amidst the salty water, with warm skin touching intensely Without a drop of awareness amiss or missing… If you were the sea and I was the beach that embrace Would last for eternity for there and then we’d be one, glancing The time and places away, every time with a different face, And as now, as ever, we’re going thought it dancing…

Here you are… I know it inside More than the glimpses You let slip… But in truth, You were never gone. And for as long As we live this life, This way or that way, You never will. Here I am… Not waiting But living, Our lives And mine… There are no empty spaces in my mind, No shifts of mood, or direction, No time jump or still… I remain in the same smile and place I was so many times before… Because if every life is a stair to climb, Every life is a limit I went beyond So many times and in so many ways That my feet already know the way, As my skin knows the warmth of you At my side in each step we take… There is no fear, no sorrow, no sadness, No impatience, no rush, no doubt, Life is not a dream, nor a shortcut, It’s the real thing, the line that exists From this place and time and me And yours and you… There is no time and no age, No break, no separation, No hesitation… You walk through a door And only you

The idea of “end” never occurs to me, Regardless of the subject Or the situation we’re in. So it is the “end” with you. We believe, both, In no ends, And the age of that belief is old. I’m not wrong, nor right. It goes a bit beyond that, And it seems none of us cares, Or think much of it. Those are the circumstances We often go around, As we always did. The result is as we wish it, As we make it to be. I’m not sorry. Are you? No… It’s not about what we did, Or what we said, and how. Often we spoke of closed pathways, How it leads us always to a different avenue Of thought, life and consequence. Life is a joyride But no matter how strong We are, or how strong The hands are held, The skin is tricky, slippery… As is the mind, But what is is, And every action is a consequence Of a consequence… And so on for all eternity. No good byes… Isn’t it the ultimate irony? We live lives within lives, Have thoughts within th

I’m here As I have always been, Feeling what I always did. Who did I scare this time? A long lost friend from days past, From memories long gone? She has been the one nothing could touch Change or alienate… Has been… For she, too, Felt the pressure… The tectonic landslide… The continental drift… The big bad wolf shadow… Plural commitments made air tight… Hard to breathe, hard to be free, Hard to be… The soul must, at times, Dive into the clear blue sea, And, as a mermaid, Follow the subterranean currents One such as her, Can call home…

You ask me if I missed someone, Or something, before? Or in any other time in my life? I did. You know I did. We all did But me more than most. Friends I had and lost, Lovers I found in the way, Women I loved, People I knew… It happened to me, yes… It is happening now. Can’t you feel? When you think of me, When you see me… By the unwritten words, The unsent messages, The relative quietness Of my restless soul… If time is what you need, Let me wrap it up In pink wrapping paper With laces to go along. (Silly me, I know) If peace is what you need, Let me open the doors Of your inner temple Where you can, And will find me, And you, the you You don’t see in the mirror… I have been me, Here where you found me, I have been waiting, I have been thinking, Taking my time, Giving my time… Living. Nothing is lost, Or will ever be. Not now. The needs are not the same As they were before… Emotions don’t rule As

Thoughts that can’t be erased Populate my mind and soul. I place them here and there, I give them to you and me… They can’t be erased. Yet, They vanish from the wall As if washed by acid rain… I wonder if industrial pollution Took all writings… As leafs from a tree in autumn… The lush of old And dreams… It could be that the wall Tumbled and with time, All sorts of leafs, Dead and alive, Covered the messages, The words… If time has no meaning How many life times Went by?

It seems forever now but next comes forever and a day And the train of time runs without a backward glance. This is the moment, be it a day or a year, this is the way Made true and into life, from afar and away, like a dance. So let’s be what we are, what we want and what we may And if we are taken, or seem to be taken, in a trance, It’s only the emotions guiding us regardless of what we say

I feel it all crumbling down, As an avalanche of rubble and debris Made of incomplete dreams and unexpected events… My body feels the leaking of strength, As the sand from a speeding hourglass Tumbling through time, end over end… My eyes need to shut But I keep them up and running, Open and alert, aware and focused, Meeting demands not my own… What kind of fool that makes me? I’m “en route” towards some unknown destination, And as I go, so much goes still with me… Summer clothes unsuitable for cold temperatures… I’m taken to laughter with tears swelling within. I blend in whatever role I’m performing By my own accord or otherwise, and act it As if nothing else mattered, counted, or had weight upon me. Sometimes I share this path with my shadow, sometimes not. Maybe there’s wisdom in shadows as shadows go. The inner me traverses a chaotic waterless sea Filled with wrecks of past eras, Under the light of long dead stars, With undead ghostly

We share a love for words In every word we write. In the absence of vocal cords They come in black and white Like Knights in shining armor, Helms, swords and shields, Riding horses amidst the clamor Of metal in metal through the fields. And when they strike, Mightily to the soul and heart What is there to dislike But simply to do your part…

At times I'm taken to think, But in truth, That witch I do lies on the edge of thought, And you are in that place, Our silent place From our subsequent meetings After the not so private first one. At times, yes... And again, in truth, In a more frequent And persistent manner, In one moment, That encompasses all that was said, Done and felt, And also what was known, Beyond any words or even thoughts, I find myself complete. Isn't that ironic? In truth, no. The waves of this sea Crash in the sand In layers of meaning, And even though the dry sand Running through my fingers, Gathering at my feet, Seems to bury me, It is the warmth of the sand I most feel in my naked skin, As if it were your skin Brushing mine in a lovers caress, But underneath This surface sensation, And beyond any and all swirling emotions, We lock gases and intertwine More in that place Than in any other we could.

I’m adrift In the memory Of being me As I slowly open My eyes To a bright Lit sunrise Setting my soul Ablaze And every Emotion into Burning embers…

Even if I had A million questions The answer to each And everyone Of them wouldn't Help me much If none of the questions Was mine. What do I want To know that I Already don't know? Details. From knowing That I know Comes great peace, But not being alone To enjoy such peace Gives me some Misunderstood sorrow. Because it's not for me, But for them... I alone, Alone know what I Need but sadness is Not to remember it. Yet coming to it. Long trek.

I tried calling your name, No, I didn't try, I did call, But calling out isn't the same, Not now after my fall... I know that with you I need only think And the thought will go through Following our special link. We did rhyme a lot, Didn't we my friend? That came to a stop But not to an end. I'm close, and getting closer But the closer I get, And the more me I become The easier it is to drift.

Who am I inside? A creation of need Or a cork in a tide Gaining speed To crash on a shore Skidding to a stop... Or am I much more Yet tied to a knot?... Whatever must I be, Wherever must I go To find the real me Soon I will know.

The me that knows This need of mine Hides and grows Through my spine Shaking the dust And ancient cob webs Amidst decaying rust As the shade ebbs… And as I carve ahead As if mining for ore I leave behind the lead On my way to the core.